it was affronting to discover...

from sexy as loss by Hillary Susz

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lyrics

It was affronting to discover that you’re a monster
Strange to know it, feel it so completely and do nothing but
Watch you go by somehow closely

We give so much to the ones we love
And we betray just as much just to move forward

You humiliated yourself
Humiliated our love
And I walked away with all my worst thoughts
But thank you for the courage to die
Now there’s room for all these things, even joy

Fear oh fear is a circular craving
Stuck watching, never touching but wanting to know
How that night you became something else, forever
Elemental like rock or wind or mythical like a...

We give so much to the ones we love
And we betray just as much just to move forward

You humiliated yourself
Humiliated our love
And I walked away with all my worst thoughts
But thank you for the courage to die
Now there’s room for all these things, even joy

I don’t want to turn the pain of losing you into anything else
I’m not gonna turn you into anything else
Not an addiction, not hating myself, not someone else
I have it all
Fuel for the fire

We give so much to the ones we love
And we betray just as much just to move forward

credits

from sexy as loss, released March 3, 2023

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about

Hillary Susz Kansas City, Missouri

Hillary Susz is an independent artist based in Kansas City. Her distinctive alto vocals and effects-laden guitar work bypass conventional structure to deliver a truly unique narrative. The Wild Honey Pie calls her “…the love child between Sharon Van Etten and Angel Olsen.” ... more

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