The Heart Will Jump (With Nowhere to Fall)

by Hillary Susz

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about

A formal student of both poetry and creative writing, Hillary’s lyrics are the defining element of her music, painting striking and memorable imagery within songs that balance blunt commentary on lived experience with an honest, funny, and occasionally sardonic take on both lesbian love and ordinary life.

credits

released October 19, 2016

Produced by Brendan Silk
HILLARYSUSZ.COM

©2016 Hillary Susz / WARNING All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.


Inside Front Cover:
Recorded by Brendan Silk at Champion St Sound Studios
Mixed by Brendan Silk
Mastered by Dana White
Music & Lyrics by Hillary Susz
Arrangements by Hillary Susz & Brendan Silk
Musical Performances by Hillary Susz (lead guitar and vocals), Julianne Thoma (piano and vocals), Chelan Bressers (violin and vocals), David Lofgren (drums), Elkay Stabo (bass) and, Brendan Silk (hammond, keyboard, guitar, bass). Additional Performances by Erem Kincaid and Sophie Cortes
Art Direction & Design by Kitty Moujaes

My deep felt thanks to Brendan Silk, who believed in this record and supported me throughout its creation. I couldn’t have done this without you.

This album is dedicated to Kelsey

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about

Hillary Susz Boulder, Colorado

CONTACT hillarysuszbooking@gmail.com

Hillary Susz is an independent songwriter and guitarist based in Boulder, CO. Her distinctive, operatic vocals and angular, effects-laden guitar work feature prominently in her songs, which often eschew conventional structure along the complex twists and turns of their narrative course. ... more

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Track Name: Pollution
Her eyes are like pollution
She dragged me through them oil spills
We swam with dead fishes
and I love her still

Her hands are like pollution
Though not like trash
more like a purple sky
A shiny foil wrapper
that holds me hold me hold me hold me

Her lips are like pollution
Steam rising from a wishing
well
She
fills my lungs
And
Makes me sick
And
I love her still

It’s that toxic skin
Her Ph rises
as my ozone falls
The temperature is rising
The oceans are rising
Everything is changing
And I
Ooo ooo ooo

On a neon Nile River
The age of apocrypha upon us
We walk
the thinning ice
like Christ
praise on pollution
Track Name: Dead Stars
Holding you
feels like a confession
Holding you
is dead stars
And I can’t see
nothing else this time of night
Holding you
is deserted and warm

I am
the realest fool
Holding you
makes my blood scream
I wanna hike the valleys under the sea
Holding you
is drowning is space
Track Name: Sad Girls
I can’t take her anywhere
She takes off her bra in the middle of town square
To prove she’s not like other sad girls
with tabloid eyes that tell a story that isn’t hers

She could find someone else to take her anywhere
Like a puppet master they could whisper in her ear
I can prove you’re not like other sad girls
with eyes that pull me to the bottom of the world

Oooo she wants to take me
Where no one else can see
No one else can see

Don’t it look like trouble oh oh
Don’t it look like fun
Don’t it sound like the story
You’re working on but
doesn’t get done
Don’t it sound like
Oooo oooo ooo ooo ooo ooo
Sad girls

I can’t take her anywhere
My girlfriend wants her dead and I understand
It’s a stubborn lie that I don’t care
Electric static stagnant in the air

~

How does a feeling work?
How can her voice take me to quiet place
in a loud room?

Oooo she takes me
Where no one else can see
No one else can see
You know it looks like trouble
You know it looks fun
I need a story
I need a song
To take me
where no one else can see
No one else can see
Track Name: The Letter Pt. 1
I took your letter and put it in the oven
Turned up the heat to 500 degrees
Just before I burned the house down
I put out the fire in the kitchen sink

Oh, your words had me speeding on the highway
How far can I go
with my eyes closed
Come winter you said
We’d see each other warm

I would drive into
those flashing lights
far away
dotted on the mountain side

But somewhere between
blue and white
Like the snow
I start to fly

And the car goes 180
but I’m not changing
I’m still thinking of you
You spin and you stop
and convince yourself into awe
Then try your best to get out, get out
Track Name: The Letter Pt. 2
The snow flies
like Pollock paint
over a black and white forest

Along the tree line
Spot a girl
in a hang glide
naked except for her long red curls

Then you’re yelling
"What the fuck
are you doing up there?"

Though it’s clear
Oh it’s clear
She’s flying
and I am
still right here
Still here
Track Name: Swanky Freak
He’s a swanky freak
with worldly glasses
He’s got a pea coat build
and dog like romantics
the devil plays pool
and smokes stogies in his mouth

He’ll tell you, “I love you”
if you offer him a smile
but don’t lend him your hands
or any of your diamonds
All he’s got is your promise

He talks
left
handed
and I listen
through my shirt
an emotional cyclopes
who cannot see
the half of
his own hurt
but I see too much through my shirt

He’s a swanky freak
with something to hide
He writes sonnets for serial killers
while he gazes thoughtfully
through your pearly eyes
He’s that mumbling war hero
out on the streets
he’s one motherfucking
swanky creep
A murmur in the night
too close for comfort

He talks
left
handed
and I listen
through my shirt
an emotional cyclopes
who cannot see
the half of
his own hurt
but I see too much through my shirt
Track Name: The Heart Will Jump (With Nowhere to Fall)
My lips trespassed
carelessly
and you said, “Don’t”

Big, bold bass lines
beating my body dumb

Oh, the silent music
of wicked words
suffering composed

Why must I feel
More complete, more finished, more human

This desire brings me back to a wolf in the woods
Our jaws moving slow
Breath alive in the cold
The heart will jump with nowhere to fall

Oh, my dear
I have to tell you of
what I thought was love
when I was young

Two friends on a bridge
throwing rocks down
on passing trucks

You see, I don’t need an angel
I only need someone
My heart is an idiot
It can’t be left alone

This desire brings me back to a wound in the woods
I was bit real bad, bleeding in the snow
And I couldn’t think of anything except where the pain could go
The heart will jump with nowhere to fall
The heart will jump with nowhere to fall
Track Name: Make Me Make You
If my body is a glass house
surrounded by silent desert
you alone are outside

If my body is a speeding car
your arms are
the sound
and your voice is driving

When I am a composer
your openness writes in me
A chorus with six saxophones
and one sorry violin

If my body is the night sky
you sail each celestial cluster
to paint no end with the odds
to bring fire, to bring light, oh life

If my blood is laughing
If the sky is bleeding
If my blood is screaming
You make me
make you
A language
you couldn’t know was in you
You make me
make you
A language
I couldn’t know was in
You make me
make you
You make me
make you

And you make me make you
When you go
you know
I go too
This is how we’re free to choose
Make me
make you

And you make me make you
You make me make you
Track Name: Stranger
Stitching down the threads of the road
to learn we leave to weave behind the learned
As memory begs time’s concern
the stress in on “I” in lonely in the only language I know

The trees soaking rain
feel it true
Syrup weight in your lungs
drip their dew
That fractured mythos pursues
Now I have something
I’ve just got to share with you

The boy had music in his head
Where no one else could hear
When he sang to an audience
His eyes were wild and red
He was searching for the spirit
Learning to believe
In the stories that move from grave to grave
like the wind

When I heard the siren
I thought it was in my head
His momma was crying
as they carried out the dead
She was broken by the spirit
It’s so hard to believe
that even gods die
for their father’s sin

The trees soaking rain
feel it true
Syrup weight in your lungs
drip their dew
That tortured mythos pursues
Oh Stranger this one’s for you

Doug, this one’s for you